00047 THE FOLLOWING IS QUOTED FROM BERGAN EVANS ON NORBERT WEINER, NUCLEAR PHYSICIST The s
THE FOLLOWING IS QUOTED FROM BERGAN EVANS
ON NORBERT WEINER, NUCLEAR PHYSICIST
The second concept Weiner has to establish is that
of entropy. Probability is a mathematical concept,
from statistics. Entropy comes from physics.
It is the assertation -- established logically and exper-
imentally-- that the universe, by its nature, is "run-
ning down", moving toward a state of inert uniformity
devoid of form, matter, hierarchy or differentation.
That is, in any given situation, less organization,
more chaos, is overwhelmingly more probabale than
tighter organization or more order.
The tendency for entropy to increase in isolated
systems is expressed in the second law of thermo-
dynamics--perhaps the most pessimistic and amoral
formulation in all human thought.
It applies however, to a closed system, to some-
thing that is an isolated whole, not just a part.
Within such systems there may be parts, which draw
their energy from the whole, that are moving at least
temporarily, in the opposite direction; in them order
is increasing and chaos is diminishing.
The whirlpools that swirl in a direction opposed
to the main current are called "enclaves". And one
of them is life, especially human life, which in a
universe moving inexorably towards chaos moves to-
ward increased order.
PLANETARY PI, which I discovered,
is 61. It's a Time-Energy relationship
existing between sun and inner plants
and I use it in arriving at many facts
unknown to science.For example,
multiply nude earth's circumference
24, 902.20656 by 61 and you get the
distance of moon's orbit around the
earth. this is slightly less than
actual distance because we have not
yet considered earth's atmosphere. So
be it. Christopher Garth, Evanston.
"I SHOULD HAVE BEEN A PLUMBER."
IF THE TELEPHONE
WATER IT !
-Rev. Thomas, Gnostic
WRONG IN ARGUMENT WITH
CHICKEN" - Book of Chan
compiled by O.P.U. sect
= ZARATHUD'S ENLIGHTENMENT =
Before he became a hermit, Zarathud was a
young Priest, and took great delight in
making fools of his opponents in front of
One day Zarathud took his students to a
pleasant pasture and there he confronted
The Sacred Chao while She was contentedly
"Tell me, you dumb beast," demanded the
Priest in his commanding voice, "why don't
you do something worthwhile. What is your
Purpose in Life, anyway?"
Munching the tasty grass, The Sacred Chao
Upon hearing this, absolutely nobody was
enlightened. Primarily because nobody
could understand Chinese.
* "Mu" is the Chinese ideogram for NO-THING.
WORDS OF WISDOM
THE SACRED CHAO
The SACRED CHAO is the key to illumin-
ation. Devised by the Apostle Hung Mung
in Ancient China, it was modified and popularized by
the Taoists and is sometimes called the YIN-YANG. The
Sacred Chao is not the Yin-Yang of the Taoists. It
is the HODGE-PODGE of the Erisians. And, instead of
a Podge spot on the Hodge side, it has a PENTAGON
which symbolizes the ANERISTIC PRINCIPLE, and instead
of a Hodge spot on the Podge side, it depicts the
GOLDEN APPLE OF DISCORDIA to symbolize the ERISTIC
The Sacred Chao synbolizes absolutely everything any-
one need ever know about absolutely anything, and
more! It even symbolizes everything not worth knoe-
ing, depicted by the empty space surrounding the
HERE FOLLOWS SOME PSYCHO-METAPHYSICS
If you are not hot for philosophy, best just skip it.
The Aneristic Principle is that of APPARENT ORDER;
the Eristic Principle is that of APPARENT DISORDER.
Both order and disorder are man made concepts and are
artificial divisions of PURE CHAOS, which is a level
deeper than is the level of distinction making.
With our concept making apparatus called "mind" we
look at reality through the ideas-about-reality which
our cultures give us. The ideas-about-reality are
mistakenly labeled "reality" and unenlightened people
are forever perplexed by the fact that other people,
especially other cultures, see "reality" differently.
It is only the ideas0about-reality which differ.
Real (capital-T True) reality is a level deeper than
is the level of concept.
We look at the world through windows on which have
been drawn grids (concepts). Different philosophies
use different grids. A culture is a group of people
with rather similar grids. Through a window we view
chaos, and relate it to the points on our grid, and
thereby understand it. The ORDER is in the GRID.
That is the Aneristic Principle.
Western philosophy is traditionally concerned with
contrasting one grid with another grid, and amending
grids in hopes of finding a perfect one that will
account for all reality and will, hence, (say unen-
lightened westerners) be True. This is illusory; it
is what we Erisians call the ANERISTIC ILLUSION.
Some grids can be more useful than others, some more
beautiful than others, some more pleasant than others,
etc., but none can be more True than any other.
DISORDER is simply unrelated information viewed
through some particular grid. But, like "relation",
no-relation is a concept. Male. like female, is an
idea about sex. To say that male-ness is "absence of
female-ness", or vice versa, is a matter of definition
and metaphysically arbitrary. The artificial concept
of no-relation is the ERISTIC PRINCIPLE.
The belief that "order is true" and disorder is
false or somehow wrong, is the Aneristic Illusion.
To say the same of disorder, is the ERISTIC ILLUSION.
The point is that (little-t) truth is a matter of
definition relative to the grid one is using at the
moment, and that (capital-T) Truth, metaphysical re-
ality, is irrelevant to grids entirely. Pick a grid,
and through it some chaos appears ordered and some
appears disordered. Pick another grid, and the same
chaos will appear differently ordered and disordered.
Reality is the original Rorschach.
Verily! So much for all that.
The Words of the Foolish and those of the Wise
Are not far apart in Discordian Eyes.
(HBT; The Book of Advice, 2:1)
The PODGE of the Sacred Chao is symbolized as The Golden Apple of Discordia,
which represents the Eris-
tic Principle of Disorder. The writing on it,
"KALLISTI" is Greek for "TO THE PRETTIEST ONE" and refers to an old myth about
the Goddess. But the
Greeks had only a limited understanding of Disorder,
and thought it to be a negative principle.
The Pentagon represents the Aneristic
Principle of Order and symbolizes the
HODGE. The Pentagon has several ref-
erences; for one, it can be taken to
represent geometry, one of the earliest
studies of formal order to reach elab-
orate development;* for another, it specifically accords with the LAW OF FIVES.
* The Greek geometrician PYTHAGORAS, however, was not a typical aneristic
personality. He was what we call an EXPLODED ANERISTIC and a AVATAR. We call
THE TRUTH IS FIVE BUT MEN HAVE ONLY ONE NAME FOR IT.
It also is the shape of the United States Military
Headquarters, the Pentagon Building, a most pregnant
manifestation of straitjacket order resting on a
firm foundation of chaos and constantly erupting into
dazzeling disorder; and this building is one of our
more cherished Erisian Shrines. Also it so happens
that in times of medieval magic, the pentagon was the
generic symbol for werewolves, but this reference is
not particularily intended and it should be noted that
the Erisian Movement does not discriminate against
werewolves -- our membership roster is open to persons
of all races, national origins and hobbies.
[Picture of Hodge/Podge Transformer - beyond words]
28 DAY RECORDING
5. Hung Mung slapped his buttocks, hopped about,
and shook his head, saying, "I do not know! I
do not know!"
HBT; The Book of Gooks, Chap. 1
In the Los Angeles suburb of Whittier there lives a
bowling alley, and within this very place, in the
Year of Our Lady of Discord 3125 (1959*), Eris reveal-
ed Herself to The Golden Apple Corps for the first
In honor of this Incredible Event, this Holy Place is
revered as a Shrine by all Erisians. Once every five
years, the Golden Apple Corps plans a pilgrimage to
Brunswick Shrine as an act of Devotion, and therein
to partake of No Hot Dog Buns, and ruminate a bit
about it All.
It is written that when The Corps returns to The
Shrine for the fifth time five times over, then shall
the world come to an end:
And Five Days Prior to This Occasion
The Apostle The Elder Malaclypse Shall
Walk the Streets od Whittier Bearing a
Sign for All Literates to Read thereof:
"DOOM", as a Warning of Forthcoming Doom
to All Men Impending. And He Shall Sig-
nal This Event by Seeking the Poor and
Distributing to Them Precious MAO BUTTONS
and Whittier Shall be Known as The Region
of Thud for These Five Days.
As a public service to all mankind and civilization
in general, and to us in particular, the Golden Ap-
ple Corps has concluded that planning such a Pil-
grimage is sufficient and that it is prudent to
never get around to actually going.
* Or maybe it was 1958, I forget.
Quiet night, c/o
Which is Real?
Do these 5 pebbles really form a pentagon?
Those biased by the Aneristic Illusion would say yes.
Those biased by the Eristic Illusion would say no.
Criss-cross them and it is a star.
An Illuminated Mind can see all of these, yet he does
not insist that any one is really true, or that none
at all is true. Stars, and pentagons, and disorder
are all his own creations, and he may do with them as
he wishes. Indeed, even so the concept of the number 5.
The real reality is there, but
everything you know about "it"
is in your mind and yours to do
with as you like. Conceptual-
ization is art, and YOU ARE THE
Convictions cause convicts.
Can you chart
I NEVER TOUCH
When I was 8 or 9 years, I
acquired a split beaver magazine.
You can imagine my disappointment
when, upon examination of the
photos with a microscope, I
found that all I could see
7. Never write in pencil unless you are on a train or sick in bed.
ERIS CONTEMPLATES FOR 3125 YEARS
Pun-job is Sihk, Sihk, Sihk!
THE PARATHEO-ANAMETAMYSTICHOOD OF ERIS ESOTERIC (POEE)
A Non-prophet irreligious disorganization
MALACLYPSE The Younger, KSC
Omnibenevolent Polyfather of Virginity in Gold
THE ERISIAN MOVEMENT HOUSE OF APOSTLES OF ERIS
(x) Official Business ( ) Surreptitious Business Page 1 of 1 pages
Official Discordian Number (if applicable) n/a
( ) The Golden Apple Corps (x) House of Disciples of Discordia: The Bureaucracy, Bureau of : DOGMAS
( ) Council of Episkoposes: Office of High Priesthood, Sect of POEE ( ) Drawer 0
Today's Date: Day of the Carrot Yesterday's Date : yes
Originating CABAL: JOSHUA NORTON CABAL - San Francisco
TO: REV. RAMPANT PANCREAS, tRRoCR(m)pttm; Colorado Encrustation
Your acute observation that ERIS spelled backwards is SIRE, and your inference
to the effect that there is sexual symbolism here, have brought me to some
observations of my own.
ERIS spelled fore-part-aft-wards is RISE. And spelled inside out is REIS,
which is a unit of money, albeit Portugese-Brazilian and no longer in use.
From this it may be concluded that ERIS has usurped Eros (god of erotic love)
in the eyes of those who read backwards; which obviously made Eros sorE.
Then She apparently embezzeled the Olympian Treasuryand went to Brazil;
whereupon She opened a chain of whorehouses (which certainly would get a
rise from the male population). I figure it to be this in particular because
MADAM reads the same forward and backwards. And further, it is a term of
great respect, similar to SIRE.
And so thank you for your insight, it may well be the clue to the mystery
of just where Eris has been f***ing around for 3125 years.
FIVE TONS OF FLAX:
NOT FOR CIRCULATION
KALLISTI**HAIL ERIS**ALL HAIL DISCORDIA
Safeguard this Letter; it may be an IMPORTANT DOCUMENT
Form No: O.D.D. IIb/ii .1-37D. VVM 3134
DOGMA III - HISTORY #2, "COSMOGONY"
which is not the same as DOGMA I - METAPHYSICS #2, "COSMOLOGY" (Book of Uterus)
In the beginning there was VOID, who had two daughters; one being (the smaller)
was that of BEING, named ERIS, and one (the larger) was of NON-BEING, named
ANERIS. (To this day, the fundamental truth that Aneris is the larger is
apparent to all who compare the number of things that do not exist with the
comparatively small number of things that do exist.
Eris had been born pregnant, and after 55 years (Goddesses have an unusually
long gestation period -- longer even than elephants), Her pregnancy bore the
fruits of many things. These things were composed of the Five Basic Elements,
SWEET, BOOM, PUNGENT, PRICKLE and ORANGE. Aneris, however, had been created
sterile. When she saw Eris enjoying Herself so greatly with all the existent
things She had borne, Aneris became jealous and finally one day she stole some
existent things and changed them into non-existent things and claimed them as
her own children. This deeply hurt Eris, who felt that Her sister was unjust
(being so much larger anyway) to deny Her her small joy. And so She made Herself
swell again to bear more things. And She swore that no matter how many of her
begotten that Aneris wouls steal, She would beget more. And in return, Aneris
swore that no matter how many existent things Eris brought forth, she would
eventually find them and turn them into non-existent things for her own. (And to
this day, things appear and disappear in this very manner.)
At first, the things brought forth by Eris were in a state of chaos and went in
every which way, but by the by She began playing with them and ordered some of
them just to see what would happen. Some pretty things arose from this play and
for the next five zillion years She amused Herself by creating order. And so She
grouped some things with others and some groups with others, and some big groups
with little groups, and all combinations until She had many grand schemes which
Engrossed in establishing order, She finally one day noticed disorder
(previously not apparent because everything was chaos). There were many ways in
which chaos was ordered and many ways in which it was not.
"Hah," She thought, "here shall be a new game."
And she taught order and disorder to play with each other in contest games, and
to take turns amusing each other. She named the side of disorder after Herself,
"ERISTIC" because Being is Anarchic. And then, in a mood of sympathy for her
lonely sister, She named the other side "ANERISTIC" which flattered Aneris and
smoothed the friction a little that was between them.
Now all of this time Void was somewhat disturbed. He felt unsatisfied for he had
created only physical existence and physical non-existence, and had neglected
the spiritual. As he contemplated this, a great Quiet was caused and he went
into a state of Deep Sleep which lasted for 5 eras. At the end of this ordeal,
he begat a brother to Eris and Aneris, that of SPIRITUALITY, who had no name at
When the Sisters heard this, they both confonted Void and pleaded that he not
forget them, his First Born. And so Void decreed thus:
That this brother, having no form, was to reside with Aneris in Non-Being and
then to leave her and, so that he might play with order and disorder, reside
with Eris in Being. But Eris became filled with sorrow when She heard this and
then began to weep.
"Why are you despondent?" demanded Void, "Your new brother will have his share
with you." "But Father, Aneris and I have been arguing, and she will take him
from me when she discovers him, and cause him to return to Non-Being." "I see,"
replied Void, "Then I decree the following:
When your brother leaves the residence of Being, he shall not reside again in
Non-Being, but shall return to Me, Void, from whence he came. You girls may
bicker as you wish, but My son is your Brother and We are all of Myself."
And so it is that we, as men, do not exist until we do; and then it is that we
play with our world of existent things, and order them and disorder them, and so
it shall be that non-existence shall take us back from existence and that
nameless spirituality shall return to void, like a tired child home from a very
"Everything is true - Everything is permissible!"
- Hassan i Sabbah
Picture of Sri Syadasti
There is serenity in Chaos.
Seek ye the Eye of the Hurricane.
A POEE MYSTEREE RITE - THE SRI SYADASTI CHANT
Written, in some sense, by Mal-2
Unlike a song, chants are not sung but chanted.
This particular one is much enhanced by the use of
a Leader to chant the Sanskrit alone, with all
participants chanting the English. It also behooves
one to be in a quiet frame of mind and to be sitting
in a still position, perhaps The Buttercup Position.
It also helps if one is absolutely zonked out of
O! Hail Eris. Blessed St. Hung Mung.
O! Hail Eris. Blessed St. Mo-jo.
O! Hail Eris. Blessed St. Zara-thud.
O! Hail Eris. Blessed St. Elder Mal.
O! Hail Eris. Blessed St. Gu-lik
SYA-DASTI, SYA-NASTI, SYA-DAVAK-TAV-YASKA
O! Hail Eris. All Hail Discordia.
It is then repeated indefinitely, or for the first
two thousand miles, which ever comes first.
THE CLASSIFICATION OF SAINTS
1. SAINT SECOND CLASS
To be reserved for all human beings deserving of
Sainthood. Example: St. Norton the First, Emperor
of the United States and Protector of Mexico (his
grave near San Francisco is an official POEE Shrine.)
THE FOLLOWING FOUR CATEGORIES ARE RESERVED FOR
FICTIONAL BEINGS WHO, NOT BEING ACTUAL, ARE MORE
CAPABLE OF PERFECTION.
2. LANCE SAINT
Good Saint material and definitely inspiring.
Example: St Yossarian ("Catch 22", Heller)
3. LIEUTENANT SAINT
Excellent Goddess-saturated Saint.
Example: St. Quixote ("Don Quixote", Cervantes)
4. BRIGADIER SAINT
Comparable to Lt/Saint but has an established
following (fictional or factual).
Example: St. Bokonon ("Cat's Cradle", Vonnegut)
4. FIVE STAR SAINT
The Five Apostles of Eris.
NOTE: It is an Old Erisian Tradition to never agree
with each other about Saints.
Everybody understands Mickey Mouse. Few
understand Herman Hesse. Only a handfull
understood Albert Einstein. And nobody
understood Emperor Norton.
Slogan of NORTON CABAL - S.F.
Tests By Doctors Prove
It Possible To Shrink
Magicians, especially since the Gnostic and the
Quabala influences, have sought higher consciousness
through the assimilation and control of universal
opposites -- good/evil, positive/negative, male/female,
etc. But due to the steadfast pomposity of ritual-
ism inherited from the ancient methods of the shaman,
occultists have been blinded to what is perhaps the
two most important pairs of apparent or earth-plane
opposites: ORDER/DISORDER and SERIOUS/HUMOROUS.
Magicians, and their progeny the scientists, have
always taken themselves and their subject in an
orderly and sober manner, thereby disregarding an
essential metaphysical balance. When magicians
learn to approach philosophy as a mallable art in-
stead of an immutable Truth, and learn to appreciate
the absurdity of man's endeavors, then they will be
able to persue their art with a lighter heart, and
perhaps gain a clearer understanding of it, and
therefore gain more effective magic. CHAOS IS ENERGY.
This is an essential challenge to
the basic concepts of all western
occult thought, and POEE is hum-
bly pleased to offer the first
major breakthrough in occult-
ism since Solomon.
sez Thom, Gnos
POEE ASTROLOGICAL SYSTEM
1) On your next birthday, return to the place of
your birth and, at precisely midnight, noting your
birth time and the date of observation, count all
2) When you have done this, write to me ans I'll
tell you what to do next.
[picture of snowflake with five points]
LOOK FOR THIS SNOWFLAKE - IT HAS MAGIC PROPERTIES
The theorem to be proved is that if
any even number of people take seats at
random around a circular table bearing
place cards with their names, it is al-
ways possible to rotate the table until
at least two people are opposite their
cards. Assume the contrary. Let n be
the even number of persons, and let
their names be replaced by the integers
0 to n-1 "in such a way that the place
cards are numbered in sequence around
the table. If a delegate d originally sits
down to a place card p, then the table
must be rotated r steps before he is cor-
rectly seated, where r = p-d, unless
this is negative, in which case r =
p-d+n. The collection of values of
d (and of p) for all delegates is clearly
the integers 0 to n-1, each taken once,
but so also is the collection of values of
r, or else two delegates would be cor-
rectly seated at the same time. Sum-
ming the above equations, one for each
delegate, gives S-S +nk, where k is
an integer and S=n(n-1)/2, the sum
of the integers from 0 to n-1. It fol-
lows that n = 2k+1, an odd number."
This contradicts the original assump-
"I actually solved this problem some
years ago," Rybicki writes, "for a differ-
ent but completely equivalent problem,
a generalization of the nonattacking
'eight queens' problem for a cylindri-
cal chessboard where diagonal attack
is restricted to diagonals slanting in one
THE EMINENT 16TH CENTURY MATH-
EMETICIAN CARDAN SO DETESTED
LUTHER THAT HE ALTERED LUTHER'S
BIRTHDATE TO GIVE HIM AN UN-
THE CURSE OF GREYFACE AND THE
INTRODUCTION OF NEGATIVISM
To choose order over disorder, or disorder over
order, is to accept a trip composed of both the cre-
ative and the destructive. But to choose the creative
over the destructive is an all-creative trip composed
of both order and disorder. To accomplish this, one
need only accept creative disorder along with, and
equal to, creative order, and also be willing to re-
ject destructive order as an undesirable equal to de-
The Curse of Greyface included the division of
life into order/disorder as the essential positive/
negative polarity, instead of building the game found-
ation with creative/destructive as the essential
positive/negative. He has thereby caused man to en-
dure the destructive aspects of order and has prevent-
ed man from effectively participating in the creative
uses of disorder. Civilization reflects the unfor-
[Picture of square made up of four smaller congruent squares;
top left square is creative order, top right is creative
disorder, bottom left is destructive order and bottom right
is destructive disorder. ]
POEE proclaims that the other
division is preferable, and we work
toward the proposition that creative
disorder, like creative order, is
possible and desirable; and that de-
structive order, like destructive
disorder, is unnecessary and unde-
Seek the Sacred Chao - therein
you will find the foolishness of all
ORDER/DISORDER. The are the same!
[picture of Egyptian heiroglyphs - translation
ERISIAN MAGIC RITUAL - THE TURKEY CURSE
Revealed by the Apostle Dr. Van Van Mojo as a specific
counter to the evil Curse of Greyface. The TURKEY CURSE
is here passed on to Erisians everywhere for their just
The Turkey Curse works. It is firmly grounded on the
fact that Greyface and his followers absolutely require
an aneristic setting to function and that a timely in-
troduction of eristic vibrations will neutralize their
foundation. The Turkey Curse is designed solely to
counteract negative aneristic vibes and if introduced
into a neutral or positive setting (like a
poet working out word rhythms) it will prove harmless,
or at worst, simply annoying. It is not designed for
use against negative eristic vibes, although it can be
used as an eristic vehicle to introduce positive vibes
into a misguided eristic setting. In this instance,
it would be the responsibility of the Erisian Magician
to manufacture the positive vibrations if results are
to be achieved. CAUTION - all magic is powerful and
requires courage and integrity on the partof the ma-
gician. This ritual, if misused, can backfire. Pos-
itive motivation is essential for self-protection.
TO PERFORM THE TURKEY CURSE:
Take a foot stance as if you were John L. Sullivan
preparing for fisticuffs. Face the particular grey-
face you wish to short-circuit, or towards the direct-
ion of the negative aneristic vibration that you wish
neutralize. Begin waving your arms in any elaborate
manner and make motions with your hands as though you
were Mandrake feeling up a sexy giantess. Chant,
loudly and clearly:
GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE
The results will be instantly apparent.
A PRIMER FOR ERISIAN EVANGELISTS by Lord Omar
The SOCRATIC APPROACH is most successful when
confronting the ignorant. The "socratic approach" is
what you call starting an argument by asking questions.
You approach the innocent and simply ask "Did you know
that God's name is ERIS, and that He is a girl?" If
he should answer "Yes." then he is probably a fellow
Erisian and so you can forget it. If he says "No."
then quickly proceed to:
THE BLIND ASSERTION and say "Well, He is a girl,
and His name is ERIS!" Shrewdly observe if the sub-
ject is convinced. If he is, swear him into the
Legion of Dynamic Discord before he changes his mind.
If he does not appear convinced, then proceed to:
THE FAITH BIT: "But you must have Faith! All is
lost without Faith! I sure feel sorry for you if you
don't have Faith." And then add:
THE ARGUMENT BY FEAR and in an ominous voice ask
"Do you know what happens to those who deny Goddess?"
If he hesitates, don't tell him that he will surely
be reincarnated as a precious Mao Button and distrib-
uted to the poor in the Region of Thud (which would
be a mean thing to say), just shake your head sadly
and, while wiping a tear from your eye, go to:
THE FIRST CLAUSE PLOY wherein you point to all
of the discord and confusion in the world and exclaim
"Well who the hell do you think did all of this, wise
guy?" If he answers, "Nobody, just impersonal forces."
then quickly respond with:
THE ARGUMENT BY SEMANTICAL GYMNASTICS and say
that he is absolutely right, and that those imperson-
al forces are female and that Her name is ERIS. If
he, wonder of wonders, still remains obstinate, then
finally resort to:
THE FIGURATIVE SYMBOLISM DODGE and confide that
sophisticated people like himself recognize that Eris
is a Figurative Symbol for an Ineffable Metaphysical
Reality and that The Erisian Movement is really more
like a poem than like a science and that he is liable
to be turned into a Precious Mao Button and Distrib-
uted to the Poor in the Region of Thud if he does not
get hip. Then put him on your mailing list.
by Ala Hera, E.L., N.S.; RAYVILLE APPLE PANTHERS
SINK is played by Discordians and people of much ilk.
PURPOSE: To sink object or an object or a thing...
in water or mud or anything you; can sink something in.
RULES: Sinking is allowd in any manner. To date,
ten pound chunks of mud were used to sink
a tobacco can. It is preferable to have a pit of
water or hole to drop things in. But rivers -
bays - gulfs - I dare say even oceans can be used.
TURNS are taken thusly: who somever gets the junk up
and in the air first.
DUTY: It shall be the duty of all persons playing
"SINK" to help find more objects to sink, once; one
object is sunk.
UPON SINKING: The sinked shall yell "I sank it!" or
something equally as thoughtful.
NAMING OF OBJECTS is some times desirable. The
object is named by the finder of such object and
whoever sinks it can say for instance, "I sunk
"IN A WAY WE'RE KIND OF A PEACE CORPS."
-MAJ. A. LINCOLN GERMAN, TRAINING DIRECTOR OF THE
GREEN BERET SPECIAL WARFARE SCHOOL, FT. BRAGG, N.C.
JOINT EFFORT OF THE DISCORDIAN SOCIETY
Post Office Liberation Front
EXPORT LICENSE NOT REQUIRED
THIS IS A CHAIN LETTER.
WITHIN THE NEXT FIFTY-FIVE DAYS YOU WILL RECEIVE
THIRTY-ELEVEN HUNDRED POUNDS OF CHAINS!
In the meantime - plant your seeds.
If a lot of people who receive this letter plant
a few seeds and a lot of people receive this letter,
then a lot of seeds will get planted.
Plant your seeds.
In parks. On lots. Public flower beds. In remote
places. At City Hall. Wherever. Whenever. Or
start a plantation in your closet (but read up on
it first for that). For casual planting, its
best to soak them in water for a day and plant in
a bunch of about 5, about half an inch deep. Don't
worry much about weather, they know when the weather
is wrong and will try to wait for nature. Don't
soak them if its wintertime. Seeds are a very
hearty life form and strongly desire to grow and
flourish. But some of them need people's help to
get started. Plant your seeds.
Make a few copies of this letter (5 would be nice)
and send them to friends of yours. Try to mail
to different cities and states, even different
countries. If you would rather not, then please
pass thid copy on to someone and perhaps they
would like to.
THERE IS NO TRUTH
to the legend that if you throw away a chain letter
then all sorts of catastrophic, abominable, and
outrageous disasters will happen. Except, of course,
from your seed's point of view.
Q. "How come a woodpecker doesn't bash its
brains out?" A. Nobody has ever explained that.
ERISIAN ERISTIC ANERISTIC MISC. 5TH COLUMN
1A 1B 1C 1D 1E EXPLODED
2A 2B 2C 2D 2E EXPANDED
3A 3B 3C 3D 3E CONSCIENTIOUS
4A 4B 4C 4D 4E CONSCIOUS
5A 5B 5C 5D 5E UNCONSCIOUS
[Picture of little girl named Mary Jane saying "PLANT
YOUR SEEDS." and standing on "KEEP PRICES DOWN"
"and God said, Behold, I have given you every herb
bearing seed, which is upon the face of the earth...
to you it shall be for meat. " Genesis 1:29
Have a friendly class talk. Permit each child to tell any
part of the unit on "Courtesy in the Corridors and on the
Stairs" that he enjoyed. Name some causes of disturbance in
Chapter 1, THE EPISTLE TO THE PARANOIDS
1. Ye have locked yerselves up in cages of fear--and,
behold, do ye now complain that ye lack FREEDOM!
2. Ye have cast out yer brothers for devils and now
complain ye, lamenting, that ye've been left to
3. All Chaos was once yer kingdom; verily, held ye
dominion over the entire Pentaverse, but today ye
wax sore afraid in dark corners, nooks and
4. O how the darknesses do crowd up, one against the
other, in ye hearts! What fear ye more that what
ye have wroughten?
5. Verily, verily I say unto you, not all the Sinister
Ministers of the Bavarian Illuminati, working together
in multitudes, could so entwine the land with tri-
bulation as have yer baseless warnings.
DESPITE string evidence to the contrary, persistant
rumor has it that it was Mr. Momomoto's brother
who swallowed Mr. Momomoto in the summer of '44.
[This page is an advertisement for the Bavarian Illuminati.
There are several pictures, including "the eye in the
Advertisement Bavarian Illuminati
Founded by Hassan i Sabbah 1090 A.D. (5090 A.L. 4850 A.M.)
Reformed by Adam Weishaupt 1776 A.D. (5776 A.L. 5536 A.M.)
THE ANCIENT ILLUMINATED SEERS OF BAVARIA
invite YOU to join
The World's Oldest and Most Successful Conspiracy
Have you ever SECRETLY WONDERED WHY the GREAT PYRAMID has
FIVE sides (counting the bottom)?
What is the TRUE secret SINISTER REALITY behind the
ANCIENT Aztec Legend of QUETZCOATL?
WHO IS the MAN in ZURICH that some SWEAR is LEE HARVEY
Is there an ESOTERIC ALLEGORY concealed in the apparently
innocent legend of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs?
Why do scholarly anthropologists TURN PALE with terror at
the very MENTION of the FORBIDDEN name YOG-SOTHOTH?
WHAT REALLY DID HAPPEN TO AMBROSE PIERCE?
If your I.Q. is over 150, and you have 23,125.00 (plus
handling), you might be eligible for a trial membership in
the A.I.S.B. If you think you qualify, put the money in a
cigar box and bury it in your backyard. One of our
Underground Agents will contact you shortly.
I DARE YOU!
TELL NO ONE! ACCIDENTS HAVE A STRANGE WAY OF HAPPENING TO
PEOPLE WHO TALK TOO MUCH ABOUT THE BAVARIAN ILLUMINATI!
May we warn you against Imitations! Ours is the original
"NOTHING IS TRUE EVERYTHING IS PERMISSIBLE" -Hassan i
Nil Carborundum Illegitimo
DEATH TO ALL FANATICS!
OFFICIAL BAVARIAN ILLUMINATI "EWIGE BLUMENKRAFT"
"ILLUMINATE THE OPPOSITION" - Adam Weishaupt, Grand Primus
INTER-OFFICE PRIVATE WIRE SENT
THE ANCIENT ILLUMINATED SEERS OF BAVARIA-VIGILANCE LODGE
Mad Malik, Hauptscheissmeister; Resident for Norton Cabal
DISCORDIAN SOCIETY SUPER SECRET CRYTOGRAPHIC CYPHER CODE
Of possible interest to all Discordians, this information
is herewith released from the vaults of A.I.S.B., under the
auspices of Episkopos Dr. Mordecai Malignatius, KNS.
SAMPLE MESSAGE ("HAIL ERIS")
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22
W X Y Z
23 24 25 26
STEP 1. Write out message (HAIL ERIS) and put all vowels
at end (HLRSAIEI)
STEP 2. Reverse order (IEIASRLH)
STEP 3. Convert to numbers (9-5-9-1-19-18-12-8)
STEP 4. Put into numerical order (1-5-8-9-9-12-18-19)
STEP 5. Convert back to letters (AEHIILRS)
This cryptographic cypher code is GUARANTEED TO BE 100%
BEWARE! THE PARANIODS ARE WATCHING YOU!
[COMING NEXT!! A CLASSIFIED LETTER FROM AISB]
HERE IS A LETTER FROM A.I.S.B. TO POEE:
The World's Oldest And Most Successful Conspiracy
Founded by Hassan i Sabbah 1090 A.D. (5090 A.L. 4850 A.M.)
Reformed by Adam Weishaupt 1776 A.D. (5776 A.L. 5536 A.M.)
( ) OFFICIAL BUSINESS (x) SURREPTITIOUS BUSINESS
FROM: MAD MALIK Hauptscheissmeister
Dear Brother Mal-2,
In response to your request for unclassified agitprop to
be inserted in the new edition of the PRINCIPIA, hope the
following will be of use. And please stop bothering with
your incessant letters!
Episkopos Mordecai, Keeper of the Notary Sojac, informs
me that you are welcome to reveal that our oldest extant
records show us to have been fully established in Atlantis,
circa 18,000 B.C., under Kull, the galley slave who ascended
to the Throne of Valusia. Revived by Pelias of Koth, circa
10,000 B.C. Possibly it was he who taught the inner-
teachings to Conan of Cimmeria after Conan became King of
Aquilona. First brought to the western hemisphere by Conan
and taught to Mayan priesthood (Conan is Quetzlcoatl).
That was 4 Ahua, 8 Cumhu, Mayan date. Revived by Abdul
Alhazred in his infamous Al Azif, circa 800 A.D. (Al Azif
translated into LAtin by Olaus Wormius, 1132 A.D.. as The
Necronomicon.) In 1090 A.D. was the founding of The
Ismaelian Sect (Hasishim) by Hassan i Sabbah, with secret
teachings bsed on Alhazred,Pelias and Kull. Founding of the
Illuminated Ones of Bavaria, by Adam Weishaupt, on May 1,
1776. He based it on the others. Weishaupt brought it to the
United States during the period that he was impersonating
George Washington; and it was he who was the Man in Black
who gave the design for The Great Seal to Jefferson in the
garden that night. The Illuminated tradition is now, of
course, in the hands of The Ancient Illuminated Seers of
Bavaria (A.I.S.B.), headquartered here in the United States.
Our teachings are not, need I remind you, available for
publication. No harm, though, in admitting that some of
them can be found disguised in Joyce's Finnegan's Wake,
Burroughs Nova Express, the King James translation of The
Holy Bible (though not the Latin or Hebrew), and The Blue
Book. Not to speak of Ben Franklin's private papers (!),
but we are still suppressing those.
Considering current developments -- you know the ones I
speak of -- it has been decided to reveal a few more of our
front organizations. Your publication is timely, so mention
that in addition to the old fronts like the Masons, the
Rothchild Banks, and the Federal Reserve System, we now
have significant control of the Federal Bureau of
Investigation (since Hoover died last year, but that is
still secret), the Students for a Democratic Society, the
Communist Party USA, the American Anarchist Assn., the
Junior Chamber of Commerce, the Black Lotus Society, the
Republican Party, the John Dillinger Died For You Society
and the Camp Fire Girls. It is still useful to continue the
sham of the Birchers that we are seeking world domination;
so do not reveal that political and economic control was
generally complete several generations ago and that we are
just playing with the world for a while until civilization
advances sufficiently for phase five.
In fact you might still push Vennard's The Federal
Reserve Hoax: "Since the Babylonian Captivity thaere has
existed a determined behind-the-scenes under-the-table,
atheistic, satanic, anti-Christian force -- worshipers of
Mamon -- whose undying purpose is world control through the
control of Money. July 1, 1776 (correct that to May 1st,
Vennard can't get anything right) the Serpent raised its
head in the under-ground secret society known as the
Illuminati, founded by Adam Weishaupt. There is
considerable documentary evidence to prove that all
revolutions, wars, depressions, strikes and chaos stem from
this source." Etc., etc., you know the stuff.
The general location of our US HQ, incidentally, has been
nearly exposed; and so we will be moving for the first time
this century (what a drag!). If you want, you can reveal
that it is located deep in the labyrinth of sewers beneath
Dealy Plaza in Dallas, and is presided over by The Dealy
Lama. Inclosed are some plans for several new potential
locations. Please review and add any comments you feel
pertinent, especially regarding the Eristic propensity of
the Pentagon site.
Oh, and we have some good news for you, Brother Mal! You
know that Zambian cybernetics genius who joined us? Well, he
has secretly co-ordinated the FBI computers with the Zurich
System and our theoriticians are in ecstacy over the new
information coming out. Look, if you people out there can
keep from blowing yourselves up for only two more
generations, then we will finally have it. After 20,000
years, Kull's dream will be realized! We can hardly believe
it. But the out come is certain, given the time. Our
grandchildren, Mal! If civilization makes it through this
crises, our grandchildren will live in a world of authentic
freedom and authentic harmony and authentic satisfaction. I
hope I'm alive to see it, Mal, success is in our grasp.
Twenty thousand years.....!
Ah, I get spaced just thinking about it. Good luck on the
Principia. Ewige Blumenkraft! HAIL ERIS.
PS: PRIVATE - Not for publication in The Principia.
We are retuning to the two Zwack Cyphers for classified
communications. Herewith is your copy. DO NOT DIVULGE THIS
INFORMATION - SECURITY E-5.
[the code then follows; sorry but it cannot be revealed]
[THESE ARE VERY GOOD WORDS OF WISDOM]
PART FIVE The Golden Secret
NONSENSE AS SALVATION
The human race will begin solving it's problems on
the day that it ceases taking itself so seriously.
To that end, POEE proposes the countergame of
NONSENSE AS SALVATION. Salvation from an ugly and
barbarous existence that is the result of taking
order so seriously and so seriously fearing contrary
orders and disorder, that GAMES are taken as more
important than LIFE; rather than taking LIFE AS
THE ART OF PLAYING GAMES.
To this end, we propose that man develop his innate
love for disorder, and play with The Goddess Eris.
And know that it is a joyful play, and that thereby
CAN BE REVOKED THE CURSE OF GREYFACE.
If you can master nonsense as well as you have
already learned to master sense, then each will
expose the other for what it is: absurdity. From
that moment of illumination, a man begins to be free
regardless of his surroundings. He becomes free
to play order games and change them at will. He
becomes free to play disorder games just for the hell
of it. He becomes free to play neither or both. And
as master of his own games, he plays without
fear, and therefore without frustration, and there-
fore with good will in his soul and love in his being.
And when men become free then mankind will be free.
May you be free of The Curse of Greyface.
May the Goddess put twinkles in your eyes.
May you have the knowledge of a sage,
and the wisdom of a child.
THUS ENDS PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA
This beig the 4th Edition, March 1970, San
Francisco; a revision of the 3rd Edition of
500 copies, whomped together in Tampa 1969;
which revised the 2nd Edition of 100 copies
from Los Angeles 1969; which was a revision
of PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA or HOW THE WEST WAS
LOST published in New Orleans in 1965 in
five copies, which were mostly lost.
[running along left edge of page]
If you think the PRINCIPIA
is just a ha-ha, then go read it again.
ALL RIGHTS REVERSED - Reprint what you like
Published by POEE Head Temple - San Francisco
"ON THE FUTURE SITE OF BEAUTIFUL SAN ANDREAS CANYON"
OFFICE OF MY HIGH REVERENCE MALACLYPSE THE YOUNGER KSC
OPOVIG HIGH PRIEST POEE
THE LAST WORD
The foregoing document was revealed to Mal-2 by the
Goddess Herself through many consultations with Her
within his Pineal Gland. It is guaranteed to be
the Word of Goddess. However, it is only fair to
state that Goddess doesn't always say the same thing
to each listener, and that other Episkoposes are
sometimes told quite different thing in their
Revelations, which are also the Word of Goddess.
Consequently, if you prefer a Discordian Sect other
than POEE, then none of these truths are binding,
and it is a rotten shame that you have read all
the way down to the very last
ANTI-ARISTOTELIAN LEAGUE LIBRARY.
DEDICATED TO AN ADVANCED
UNDERSTANDING OF THE PARAPHYSICAL
MANIFESTATIONS OF EVERYDAY CHAOS
DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU HAD A LOPSIDED PINEAL GLAND?
Well, probably you do have one, and
it's unfortunate because lopsided
Pineal Glands have perverted the
Free Spirit of Man, and subverted
Life into a frustrating, unhappy
and hopeless mess.
Fortunately, you have before you a
handbook that will show you how to
discover your salvation through
ERIS, THE GODDESS OF CONFUSION.
It will advuse you how to balance
your Pineal Gland and reach spirit-
ual illumination. And it will teach
you how to turn your miserable mess
into a beautiful, joyful, and
POEE is a bridge from PISCES to AQUARIUS
[The following is the last page of the Principia
(thank Goddess) but not the last page of Discordian
The Words of the Illuminined
WHY ARE WE HERE?
Have you ever secretly wondered why the
Great Pyramid has five sides -- counting
The Lord promised: "Therefore, behold, I will
bring evil upon the house of Jereboam and will cut
off from Jereboam him that pisseth against the
wall..." -- I Kings 14:10 (This unsanitary practice
caused serious erosion of the mud walls).
"Whereby my bowels shall sound like a harp for
Moab, and mine inward parts for Kirharesh."
Face to face with the mighty forces and elements
of nature, the thoughtful man fearlessly con-
templates his place in the great cosmic scene.
Yes, I'd like to know the Five Simple Actions
that Will Turn Me Into A "Mental Wizard" in a
E-Mail Fredric L. Rice / The Skeptic Tank