Version 1.0.1 The Brice Wellington FAQ file Part 1 Version 1.0.1 Compiled and written by P
Version 1.0.1
The Brice Wellington FAQ file Part 1
Version 1.0.1 Compiled and written by Psycho Dave (Psycho@ix.netcom.com)
With help from the users and sysop of The Boston Bullet BBS (617) 893-1753
2400 baud
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
* Introduction
* Who Is Brice Wellington?
* How long has Brice been doing his thing?
* What Makes Brice's spam and trolling unique?
* What are some examples of Brice's Stupidity?
* Brice on Women
* Brice On JEWS
* Brice On the French
* Brice On Profanity
* Brice on Race and Color
* Conclusions
* EXIT back to the FAQ Archives
* Exit back to the Recreational Christianity Zone
* Go Back to the Dark And Scary Place
Introduction
The following is the FAQ file on Brice Wellington, who, now that he has
Internet access, will be legendary for his Kristian Kookiness and complete
stupidity. He will eclipse even the Great Publius as a memorable figure on
Alt.Atheism, especially with his near complete lack of knowledge on nearly
every subject he speaks authoritatively on.
Brice is a man of many contradictions, some of them predictable and quite
ubiquitous, but others are rather shady and full of lies. The authors of
this Faq file felt that it would not do any justice to Brice or the reader
if we injected too much opinion into the faq file. I have therefore decided
to let Brice Speak for himself, by making the faq file contain mostly his
own unedited quotes from his on-line encounters with me and the
contributers to this faq.
Return to FAQ Menu
(1) Who is Brice Wellington?
Some people, after seeing some of his first messages on talk.origins and
alt.atheism, may be more inclined to ask "WHAT" is Brice Wellington. Brice
is very familiar to the users of several on-line services in the Boston,
Massachusetts area. His first encounter with net-atheists was on the Boston
Bullet BBS, which he "felt a calling to". He apparently, through some
strange sixth sense, "heard the cries of someone begging to be saved".
Since most of the users of the Bullet are Atheists, Brice's work has been a
constant feature of the Bullet's combined message bases.
Brice is a Born-again-Catholic, who arguably doesn't quite agree with
Vatican-II, and probably not even Vatican-I. In fact, he probably wouldn't
agree with anything before Vatican-I, at least nothing from the past couple
of centuries. Brice's version of Christianity is somwhere between the dark
ages and the medieval. It's hard to tell if he's even read the Bible, as he
has never quoted from it since he's been trolling and spamming his time
away. We've (the users of the Boston Bullet BBS) asked him many times to
quote from the Bible to back up his assertions about what "God says", but
he usually never does, and expects us to just take his word for it most of
the time.
Return to FAQ Menu
(2) How Long has Brice been doing his thing?
Brice first called the Bullet in early 1991, and left the typical spammy,
troller messages that most Kristian Net-Kooks tend to leave. The difference
though, was that unlike the average troller, Brice took everything we said
absolutely seriously, and started making it a life's goal to convert us
all, and in the process, he has made a complete idiot of himself. He got
Internet access in 1994, through Prodigy and America Online, and several
other services. He now uses Netcom. All together, I estimate he uses about
5 or 6 different sservices, both BBS's and Internet providers.
Return to FAQ Menu
(3) What makes Brice's Spam and Trolling unique?
Brice is not an average spammer. He is not an average troller. Brice is one
of those few people who hasn't let his innate talent for stupidity slow him
down. Stupidity is Brice's forte, you might say. Brice has almost no actual
knowledge at work in his skull at all. He is, by most definitions, a moron.
He doesn't let that stop him from speaking authoritatively on most
subjects, however. No -- even though he admits that he doesn't know a lot
about something, he'll never admit that he's wrong about the facts, unless
you really lay overtly obvious facts on a given subject, on him. When you
criticize his insane ramblings, he will defend every last stupid statement
of his, and keep piling stupidity on until your brain is so gorged with
crap from his mind, that you have to take a break. Yes -- he lacks the gift
of having a clue. He doesn't know when to stop showing you how stupid he is
- - in fact, he is once quoted as saying "God likes stupid people"...SO I
guess that explains everything.
Return to FAQ Menu
(4) What are some examples of Brice's stupidity?
Well, let's see what Brice says on various subjects:
(a) BRICE ON WOMEN
[Brice believes that women should be spanked when they disobey]
>I never said that spanking your wife would lead to anything
>but a happy home. -- 5-01-95
>The word is SPANK Sam, SPANK not beat.
>You shouldn't knock it until you try it, they tend to
>stay inline. Look at all the problems we are having
>these days in the world with women, home
>and family, There is no disiplin what so ever. -- 04-23-95
>I want to talk about the evils of women, the things they
>are doing and why we are a mess as a society. Women are
>taking lots of good jobs from the man, yet they fail at
>most things they do, have you noticed?
>There is no longer a Boys Club Of Boston, its now
>Boys & Girls club, you see they couldn't keep thier own
>club running so they took over ours. How about the YMCA?
>I see women there all the time, try going to a YWCA, if
>they don't call the police they will chase you out
>themselves with lesbians, I know because I went and tried
>to walk in.
>The homlife of Americans is no good anymore because women
>neglect thier children and husbands, seldom at home and f*ing
>sticking thier noses into where it shouldn't be.
>We are failing as a society because women are turning thier
>backs on GOD, stepping out of the role they were designed for..
>-- 04-21-95
>I said it before, and I'll say it again woman should not vote.
>-- 07-06-95
Return to FAQ Menu
(b) Brice On Jews:
>Our problems would be smaller if we send them all
>to Israel. -- 5-23-93
>It is common knowledge that that is where they all want
>to go when they die. -- 5-26-93
>Its a common fact that all jews have a love of money. -- 5-27-93
>Jews won't go to heaven. not unless they convert. -- 5-28-93
>Congress starts every session with a prayer, it has
>always been a Christian wholeads the prayer too!
>No Jews or Hindu or whatever. -- 05-03-95
[ABOUT JUDAS]
>It is a Jewish name, and he handled the money. -- 05-09-95
Return to FAQ Menu
(c) Brice on The French:
>Not the french, but the language is dying.
>Its not a very good language, the french hate the Americans
>almost as much as the English so who cares anyway. -- 01-09-95
>Latin is dead just as French is dying now and will soon
>be dead like Latin. It is stupid. -- 01-01-95
>First of all French is a dying language, why am I not
>surprised you don't know that. Latin is a stupid language
>here because it is of no use to the majority, in fact its
>a very small fraction of the population that uses it.
>I wouldn't be surprised if Latin is out in Italy as well,
>except the Vatican. -- 01-02-95
>French is dying, there is a Library in New York dedicated
>to keep the language alive, this library is needed because
>it is dying. A librarian is chosen, I don't know who it is
>now but last I heard it was a Lesbian, Typical of the
>french to have one of those. -- 01-05-95
>Nobody wants to learn French, at least not that many,
>spanish is the way to go. Even the Russian Language
>is more popular to learn.
>I am not impressed that you know a few french sentences
>or that you can even print them, your a dying breed yourself
>along with others on this board. Its my purpose to bring you
>up to date, its up to you if you join in with the rest of the
>world or not. -- 01-12-95
Return to FAQ Menu
(d) Brice on profanity
>Do you get an orgasm talking to me the way you do? DON'T SWEAR!
> -- 01-11-95
>Where the fuck do you get your information!! English is English!
> -- 01-22-95
>I've saved souls, but not with garbage but with the word of GOD.
> -- 01-22-95
>You are a no good dirty son of a bitch with a pussy.. ASSHOLE!
> -- 01-22-95
>STOP USING FOUL LANGUAGE! Your filthy!
> -- 02-03-95
>I speak for Jesus when I say Fuck You and the donkey
>you rode in on! -- 03-09-95
>DID I CALL YOU A FAGGOT! NO!!!!!!!!! SO SHUT
>UP YOURSELF!! prick -- 05-09-95
Return to FAQ Menu
(e) Brice on Race and Color
>I didn't read that and nor would I want to, in no way am
>I asian or African. There are three (3) races in this world,
>pay attention please, they are white, Black and mongolian.
>Mongolian consist of Asians and Spanish. I am white as
>white can be. -- 01-11-95
>The spanish and asians share the same skin color,
>the spanish are not as yellow but are nowhere near
>the white person. -- 01-12-95
>Now you look here, there are 3 major races as I wrote
>before, Red skins don't count, they are but a few left.
>Trace them back and you may find they were white
>before coming here... Indians were not always here.
> -- 01-13-95
>Its safe to say every dark is a black and light is a
>white, anything else is mongolian. -- 01-16-95
>I am English and have Black Hair and blue eyes,
>almost perfect. -- 01-18-95
>Jews are white. -- 01-18-95
>English came from England, its always been that way
>for as long as we can trace back, of course there are
>mixed breeds around. -- 01-24-95
Return to FAQ Menu
From these insane ramblings, we can conclude that Brice has lived a
troubled life. He has had a lot of problems dealing with women, and is
probably more apt to strike out at a woman in frustration, rather than
work out a frustrating problem. He reguards women as mere children, who
cause him trouble, and need to be kept in their place. Surprisingly enough,
he is a kind of perverted old recluse, who apparently tries to sneak into
the YWCA on occaision (see section A)
He has "an aversion" to Jews. He doesn't actually hate them, but like
Archie Bunker from All In The Family, he has certain misconceptions and
negative stereotypes about them that he really believes. Likewise, his
views on race and color are primitive, and not due to any hatred -- just
due to s l o w l e a r n i n g.
These are but a few examples of what Brice usually says to everyone
on the Boston Bullet, and on the net. Expect similar stuff in the future,
and please -- by all means, ask him the tough questions based on the above
quotations. It will lead directly to a lot of fun for people like me, who
indulge in "Recreational Christianity". Brice is going to get sillier and
sillier as time goes on. Trust me -- you ain't seen nothin' yet!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
* RETURN to FAQ menu
* Return to the Brice Wellington FAQ Archives
* Return to the dark, scary place...
E-Mail Fredric L. Rice / The Skeptic Tank