To: All Nov1793 03:47PM Subject: Special Theory of Bureaucratic Creation Proposed by Mark

From:    Mark Schnitzius
To:      All                                    Nov-17-93 03:47PM
Subject: Special Theory of Bureaucratic Creation

Organization: University of Central Florida
From: schnitzi@longwood.cs.ucf.edu (Mark Schnitzius)
Message-ID: <2ced67$igt@longwood.cs.ucf.edu>
Newsgroups: talk.origins


Proposed by Mark Schnitzius


Standard creationist models claim a common designer
as the cause for similarities between life forms, but
have a difficult time explaining the hierarchical
structure of this biological diversity, as evidenced
by morphological and genetic analysis done by smarty-
pants evilutionists.  In this document I propose an
alternate creation theory which explains these pheno-
mena without having to invoke Godless evolutionary
dogma.  I call my theory the Special Theory of Bureau-
cratic Creationism.

                       -=()=-

God, in his wisdom, delegates.  It all started with
inter-office memos He sent out to His angelic minions,
like "Let the earth put forth vegetation" (Gen 1:10)
to the Flora division, and "Let the earth bring forth
living creatures of every kind" (Gen 1:20) to the Fauna
division.

                       -=()=-

These divisions are now subdivided into a large, complex
bureaucracy, which, at its lowest levels, is responsible
for the creation of individual species.  Designs, of
course, are passed down from higher-ups in the bureaucracy
in a specially coded form (DNA).  Lower divisions modify
the design slightly at each level.

                       -=()=-

Design mistakes, of course, are easy to explain under this
theory.  Perhaps you've heard the phrase "a camel is a
horse designed by a committee"?  Well, what better than
bureaucratic chaos to explain the haphazard, slipshod design
we see on many life forms?  Who, besides a brain-dead
civil servant, would propose mounting the photo-cells in
our eyes backwards?  Or running the urethra on male humans
directly through the prostate?

                       -=()=-

Since the Department of Life had grown very large and
employed a high number of angels, God continued the
funding, and designs grew more and more complex.  In
fact, there is direct evidence that many poor designs
have been tried and rejected, and dumped on the scrap-heap
scientists call the fossil record.



--
So, waddaya think?  Does this qualify for any cash?
I thought this up at the local pub, so if I win, I promise
I'll put it towards further research.... :-)

Mark