By: J.J. Hitt Re: More on immortality. needs *no* comment. = Forwarded Message Follows = #

By: J.J. Hitt
Re: More on immortality...

    needs *no* comment.....

== Forwarded Message Follows =========================================

 # Originally By: Dave Coble
 # Original Date: 26 Dec 95  22:52:00
 # Original Area: FUNNY Bits

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A few months ago I decided to discontinue my life insurance policy.
Granted, it was pretty cheap (25 bucks a year), but I didn't have the money
at the time and I let the policy expire.  Since then I have gotten a letter
from them every couple of weeks pleading me to reconsider my decision. In
the last letter, I got from them, they were starting to sound a little
pathetic, and they wanted to know what they had done wrong. The vice
president himself wanted me to write and tell him what the problem was.
Well, I started to feel a little bad and I decided to write them the
following letter:

December 4, 1994

Raymond N. Arel
Vice President
National Benefit Life
Insurance Company

Dear Raymond,

   Since I have decided to discontinue my life insurance policy, I have
received many letters urging me to reconsider.  I feel I must write a letter
to address your concerns.

   I assure you, I have been quite satisfied with the service I have
experienced with the National Benefit Life Insurance program.  The
reasonable cost and the option to increase my benefits in the future was a
very attractive incentive to continue doing business with you.

   However, recently I have signed a pact with the Unholy One, otherwise
known as Cthulhu (pronounced Kah-thu-lou).  For the mere price of my soul,
and eternal damnation, I have been promised domination of the city of my
choice after the second coming of the Gods of Hellfire. The offer also
included immortality and a free membership card entitling me to 10% off any
purchase at over 10,000 occult stores nationwide.

   As a result, I have changed my name from Adam S. Kajenski, to Yog Sothoth
Neblod Zin, and I have moved to the most evil city on Earth, Williston
Vermont, where I dwell in my castle of sin shedding the last vestiges of my
human shell.  Now that I am immortal, I feel that life insurance would be a
fruitless waste of money.

                                       Thank you for your concern,
                                       Yog Sothoth Neblod Zin

 # AmyBW v2.11 *... Dump:  The Epa's Answer To Health.-!- FMail/386 0.98
 ! Origin: Yet Another Brick (210-662-8700) San Antonio, Texas (1:387/643.0)
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