By: Alan Jennings Re: GOD'S INSPIRED WORD The Book Star Goat ~~ The Restored Church of the

By: Alan Jennings
Re: GOD'S INSPIRED WORD


The Book Star Goat ~*~

    The Restored Church of the Star Goat  (RCSG)
    Reverend Fredric Rice, June 1993.

GENERAL OVERVIEW
    Five million years ago, humanity landed (crashed, actually) on Earth,
    ariving in a huge spaceship which fled their doomed planet.  Comprised
    mostly of hair dressers, account executives and middle men, those that
    fled did so to escape the wrath of the Mutant Cosmic Star Goat which
    threatened to eat their sun due to humanities sinfull ways.

    Upon seeing the sinfull tremble and flee, Star Goat was appeased and,
    pleased by the piety of those who remained, decided to allow the
    infidels who made it to Earth a second chance.  Star Goat sent to Earth
    a prophet (born of a virgin) and His name was Douglas Adams.  He showed
    those with the intellect to see the ways of the Star Goat.  Through His
    teachings 'Goatees' (as followers of Star Goat are known) have learned
    of Billy Goat -- Star Goats only 'beGoaten' son who was sent to Earth
    2000 years ago to save humanity only to die a horrid (but tastefull)
    death on the Most Unholy Bar-B-Que of Death.

    Upon reading The Ways, believers expressed their bewilderment as to the
    continued lack of piety of humanity, watching in disgust as the sinfull
    created and worshiped gods and goddesses through the ages, one after
    another, corrupting themselves and inviting tyrannies and inhumanities
    upon themselves, calling hatred and intolerance 'Holy.'

    To address humanities disgracefull downfall, The Restored Church of the
    Star Goat was founded and The Ways taught.  The signs are clear: Star
    Goat will visit his wrath upon the infidels of Earth very soon.  We are
    reminded of His Threat to eat our sun: scientists, blinded by the lies
    of the Unholy Hunter, create complicated explainations for such warnings
    and call them "solar eclipses."

    The Restored Church of the Star Goat continues its work to make
    humanity aware of its disgrace and invite the intellectual among them
    to share in Star Goat's Paradise when He finally destroys this world.


THE STAR GOAT MYSTERIES
    There is an effort under way to get The Ways written down in a form
    acceptable to both the saved and the infidels.  The result is The Star
    Goat Mysteries and it is a work being compiled by Reverend Fredric Rice
    on The Skeptic Tank (818-335-9601.)  Much work has been done and a
    great deal of work still needs to be done.  Contributions to The
    Mysteries is welcome.


CONGREGATION
    There are many Believers in the world who have yet to hear of the
    formation of The Restored Church of the Star Goat.  It is hoped that
    those who have found the Trvth register themselves with The Skeptic
    Tank.


MINISTERS
    More ministers are needed to help save humanity.  If you are a Goatee
    and you wish to be a minister in The Restored Church of the Star Goat,
    you may contact Alan Jennings (504-927-4509) for details.  Be sure to
    register with The Skeptic Tank (Reverend Fredric Rice) as well.  You
    will need to specify "The Restored Church of the Star Goat" and then
    make sure to register yourself with your State.  Ministers should think
    about having business cards with Star Goat's likeness etched upon them.
    If you wish, Fredric Rice can have them printed for you provided you are
    willing to spend the extra money for shipping.  All you need do is
    contact me at The Skeptic Tank for more details.


NEWSLETTER
    Goatees (which include other ministers) who are registered with The
    Skeptic Tank will receive "Fields Of Green" -- the newsletter -- if a
    mailing address is offered.  Articles by Goatees and infidels will be
    welcome.