(138) Sat 9 Mar 96 23:43 By: J.J. Hitt To: George Mooth Re: Our Daily Alien St: @EID:a6b4

(138)   Sat 9 Mar 96 23:43
By: J.J. Hitt
To: George Mooth
Re: Our Daily Alien
St:
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
@EID:a6b4 2069bd60
@MSGID: 1:106/9788.2 637e5d19
Sure, it seems easy being a space alien. You've got your x-ray
vision, your late model space ships and media coverage galore.
But, as usual with most glamour jobs, there's a lot of nitty
gritty work the public doesn't get to see. The job can become
routine, and even a bit tedious, as we learned when we
stumbled upon this intriguing page from...

 A SPACE ALIENS DATE BOOK

  8:15 A.M. Leave asteroid for work.

  9:00 A.M. Hover over cornfield on outskirts of small midwestern
            town.

  9:30 A.M. Land in backyard where housewife is hanging laundry.
            Silence barking dog with penetrating gaze.

 10:00 A.M. Stun housewife with laser-gun or energy pulsating
            finger-tips. Levitate her body just long enough to be
            glimpsed by a passing motorist. Materialize the body
            inside spaceship.
            Remove internal organs; weigh, label and categorize.
            Return most, if not all, to the body. Erase all traces
            of surgery.
            Rematerialize housewife in backyard. Turn back time two
            hours. Bid enigmatic goodbye. Leave.


  1:00 P.M. Visit once prestigious astronomer who everyone thinks has
            gone mad. Deliver pep talk. Leave him fist-sized
            fragments of an unidentifiable element.

  2:15 P.M. Drop by Whitley Strieber's house, pick up royalty check
            from best seller, Communion.

  3:00 P.M. Hover over southwestern desert.

  3:30 P.M. Offer psychotic drifter a lift.

  4:30 P.M. Pose for cover of "Weekly World News" with President
            Clinton.
            Discuss ozone depletion, space travel, future political
            endorsements.

  6:30 P.M. Back at the asteroid. Introduce psychotic drifter to
            other aliens. Listen to Windham Hill.

  9:00 P.M. Dinner. Eat drifter.

 10:00 P.M. Wash antennae, brush eyeballs, peel off outer layer of
            skin. Beam cryptic message to NASA satelite. Lights out.

    Hostes alienigeni me abduxerunt.
--- Msgedsq 2.2e
 * Origin: Saint Elmo's Fire Hydrant (Houston) (1:106/9788.2)
SEEN-BY: 13/13 90/90 102/735 890 103/2 104/821 105/103 107/411 123/1
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SEEN-BY: 200/204 202/1207 203/15 206/2711 218/801 809 907 234/100 245/6910
SEEN-BY: 251/12 260/10 801 261/1137 270/101 102 103 104 272/82 280/1
SEEN-BY: 282/1 4073 283/121 292/876 320/119 340/20 344/3 346/49 348/105
SEEN-BY: 355/2 362/37 369/110 372/200 379/10 380/25 387/31 396/1 406/100
SEEN-BY: 600/253 760/600 2002/2002 2430/1423 2433/225 2490/3001 2605/606
SEEN-BY: 2613/5 2622/0 2624/306 2806/1 3401/308 3412/1114 3550/500 3611/18
SEEN-BY: 3612/240 3615/7 50 3619/25 3637/1 3653/777 3805/3 7107/9

@PATH: 106/9788 888 449 2000 396/1 270/101 218/801