(194) Thu 8 Sep 94 11:09 By: Martin Goldberg To: ALL Re: old tyme religion St: @EID:6b8d
(194) Thu 8 Sep 94 11:09
By: Martin Goldberg
To: ALL
Re: old tyme religion
St:
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
@EID:6b8d 1d285920
@SPLIT: 9 Sep 94 01:45:36 @124/4115 55 01/02 +++++++++++
@MSGID: 1:124/4115.221 46add9f9
David Worrell is still with us through the internet. I get notes from him on
occasion on other fundy bashing echoes in other nets. By logical decuction,
they're all the same.
Anywya, he has this to offer
From:IN%"LIBRARY%EMU@utkvx.utk.edu"
To:IN%"goldbe02@UTSW.SWMED.EDU"
1)
1) Let us worship Aphrodite,
1) Though we hear she's rather flighty
1) Still she looks great in a nightie
1) And that's good enough for me.
2)
2) We will pray to Father Zeus
2) In his temple we'll hang loose
2) Eating roast beef au jus,
2) And that's good enough for me.
3)
3) Let us worship like the Druids
3) Drinking strange fermented fluids
3) Running naked through the wo-ods,
3) And that's good enough for me.
4)
4) My roommate worships Buddha.
4) There is no idol cuter.
4) Comes in copper, bronze, and pewter,
4) And that's good enough for me.
5)
5) We will worship Sun Myung Moon
5) Though we know he is a goon.
5) All our money he'll have soon.
5) And that's good enough for me.
6)
6) We will go down to the temple,
6) Sit on mats woven of hemp(le),
6) Try to set a good exemple {\Fit0 [sic]},
6) And that's good enough for me.
7)
7) We will finally pray to Jesus,
7) From our sins we hope he frees us,
7) Eternal life he guarantees us,
7) And that's good enough for me.
8)
8) Let us pray to Zarathustra
8) Let us pray just like we useta
8) I'm a Zarathustra boosta
8) It's good enough for me.
9)
9) Let us pray like the Egyptians
9) Build pyramids to put our crypts in
9) Fill our subways with inscriptions
9) It's good enough for me.
10)
10) If it's good enough for Dagon
10) That conservative old pagan
10) Who still votes for Ronald Reagan
10) It's good enough for me
11)
11) We will have a mighty orgy,
11) In the honor of Astarte
11) It will be one helluva party
11) And it's good enough for me.
12)
12) We will sacrifice to Yuggoth
12) Carve the signs of Azathoth
12) Burn a candle for Yog-Sothoth
12) And the Goat with a thousand young.
13)
13) We will all be saved by Mithras
13) We will all be saved by Mithras
13) Slay the bull and play the zithras
13) On that resurrection day.
14)
14) We will all bow down to Enlil
14) We will all bow down to Enlil
14) Pass your cup and get a refill
14) With bold Gilgamesh the brave.
15)
15) It was good enough for Loki
15) It was good enough for Loki
15) He thinks Thor's a little hokey
15) And he's good enough for me.
16)
16) We will all go to Nirvana
16) So be sure to mind your manners
16) Make a left turn at Savannah
16) And we'll see the Promised Land.
17)
17) It was good for old Jehovah
17) He had a son who was a nova
17) Hey there, Mithras move on ova'
17) A new resurrection day.
18)
18) Where's the gong gang? I can't find it
18) I think Northwoods is behind it
18) For they've always been cymbal minded
18) Yet they're good enough for me.
19)
19) I hear Valkyries a-comin
19) In the air their song is coming
19) They forgot the words they're humming
19) Yet they're good enough for me.
20)
20) There are people into voodoo
20) Africa has raised a whoodo
20) Just one little doll will do you
20) And it's good enough for me.
21)
21) It was good for Thor and Odin
21) Grab an axe and get your woad on
21) 'Til the Giants went and rode in
21) And it's good enough for me.
22)
22) If your rising sign is Aries
22) You'll be taken by the faeries
22) Meet the Buddha in Benares
22) Where he'll hit you with a pie.
23)
23) There will be a lot of lovin'
23) When we're gathered in our coven.
23) Quit your pushin' and your shovin'
23) So there'll be room enough for me.
24)
24) There are followers of Conan.
24) And you'll never hear 'em groaning
24) Followed Crom up to his throne(in)
24) And it's good enough for me
25)
25) It could be that you're a Parsi.
25) It could be that you're a Parsi.
25) Walk on by her; you'll get in free
25) And you're good enough for me.
26)
26) Azathoth is in his Chaos.
26) Azathoth is in his Chaos.
26) Now if only he don't sway us,
26) Then that's good enough for me.
27)
27) Just like Carlos Casteneda,
27) Just like Carlos Casteneda,
27) It'll get you sooner or later
27) And it's good enough for me.
28)
28) We will venerate Bubastes.
28) We will venerate Bubastes.
28) If you like us then just ask us,
28) And that's good enough for me.
29)
29) We will all sing Hari Krishna.
29) We will all sing Hari Krishna.
29) It's not mentioned in the mishna
29) But that's good enough for me.
30)
30) We will read from the Cabala.
30) Quote the Tree of Life mandala
30) It won't get you in Valhalla,
30) Yet it's good enough for me.
31)
31) If you think that you'll be sa-ved,
31) If you think that you'll be sa-ved,
31) If you follow Mogan David,
31) You're not good enough for me.
32)
32) It's the opera written for us.
32) We will all join in the chorus.
32) It's the opera about Boris
32) Which is Godunov for me.
33)
33) There is room enough in Hades
33) For lots of criminals and shadies
33) And disreputable ladies,
33) And they're good enough for me.
34)
34) To the tune of Handel's ``Largo''
34) We will hymn the gods of cargo
34) 'Til they slap on an embargo
34) And that's good enough for me.
35)
35) Praise to Popacatapetl
35) Just a tiny cigarette'll
35) Put him in terrific fettle
35) So he's good enough for me.
36)
36) We will drive up to Valhalla
36) riding Beetles, not Impalas
36) Singing ``Deutschland Uber Alles''
36) And that's good enough for me.
37)
37) We will all bow to Hephaestus
37) As a blacksmith he will test us
37) 'Cause his balls are pure asbestos
37) So he's good enough for me.
38)
38) We will sing of Iluvatur,
38) Who sent the Valar 'cross the water
38) To lead Morgoth to the slaughter
38) And that's just fine with me.
39)
39) We will sing of Foul the Render,
39) Who's got Drool Rockworm on a bender
39) In his cave in Kiril Threndor
39) They're both too much for me.
40)
40) We will sing the Jug of Issek,
40) And of Fafhrd his chief mystic,
40) Though to thieving Mouser will stick,
40) That's still good enough for me.
41)
41) Of Lord Shardik you must beware;
41) To please him you must swear;
41) 'Cause enraged he's a real Bear,
41) And that's good enough for me.
42)
42) You can dance and wave the thyrsos
42) And sing lots of rowdy verses
42) 'Til the neighbors holler curses,
42) And that's good enough for me.
43)
43) Let us celebrate Jehovah
43) Who created us $\backslash$ab/ $\backslash$ova/
43) He'll be on tonight on Nova
43) 'Cause he's good enough for me.
44)
44) Montezuma used to start out
44) He would rip a certain part out
44) You would really eat your heart out
44) And he's good enough for me.
45)
45) We will go to worship Zeus
45) Though his morals are quite loose
45) He gave Leda quite a goose
45) And he's good enough for me.
46)
46) It was good enough for Loki
46) For he is the god of Chaos
46) And this verse doesn't even rhyme, or scan.
46) Fuck you! It's good enough for me.
47)
47) Let us sing to old Discordia
47) 'Cause it's sure she's never bored ya
47) And if she's good enough for ya
47) Then she's good enough for me.
48)
48) We will go to worship Venus
48) Though we hear she's kind of mean(us)
48) She might bite you on the --- elbow
48) But she's good enough for me.
49)
49) Well, we went to worship Venus
49) And, by god, you should have seen us
49) 'Cause the clinic had to screen us
49) But she's good enough for me.
50)
50) We will go and worship Isis
50) She will help us in a crisis
50) And she'll never raise her prices
50) So she's good enough for me.
51)
51) We will sing a song of Mithras
51) Let us sing a song of Mithras
51) But there is no rhyme for Mithras!
51) Still he's good enough for me.
52)
52) We will go to worship Kali
52) Hugging her is quite a folly
52) She'd be quite an armful, golly!
52) And she's good enough for me.
53)
53) We will all bow down to Allah,
53) For he gave his loyal follow-
53) Ers the mighy petro-dollah,
53) And that's good enough for me.
54)
54) Let us sing to Lord Cthuhlu
54) Don't let Lovecraft try to fool you
54) Or the Elder Gods WILL rule you
54) And that's good enough for me.
55)
55) Let us watch Ka.ka.pa.ull
55) Frolic in her swimming pool
55) Subjecting chaos to her rule
55) And that's all right with me
56)
56) Let's all listen up to Jesus
56) He says rich folks like old Cr\oe sus
56) Will be damned until Hell freezes
56) And that don't sound good to me.
57)
57) Let us do our thing for Eris
57) Goddess of the discord there is
57) Apple's golden, it's not ferrous
57) And that's good enough for me
58)
58) Of the Old Ones, none is vaster
58) Even Cthulhu's not his master
58) I refer to the unspeakable \underbar{\hbox to .5truein{\ \hfil}}${}^*$
58) and that's good enough for me
58) {\Fit0 (${}^*$ Well, do YOU want to say it?)}
59)
59) Let us worship old Jehovah
59) All you other gods move ovah
59) Cause the one God's takin' over
59) And it's good enough for me
60)
60) Let us sing for Brooharia
60) Though the blood's a lot less cleaner
60) It's not Christian Santaria
60) So it's good enough for me
61)
61) Timmy Leary we will sing to
61) And the things that he was into
61) (Well, at least it wasn't Shinto)
61) And that's good enough for me.
62)
62) Let us sing a praise to Loki
62) The Norse God of Fire and Chaos
62) Which is why this verse doesn't rhyme or scan
62) But it's good enough for me
63)
63) It was good for the object
63) Of the Manhatten Project
63) It was good for Enrico
63) So it's good enough Fermi
64)
64) Father Odin we will follow
64) And in fighting we will wallow
64) 'Til we end up in Valhalla
64) And that's good enough for me.
65)
65) Hari Krishna he would laugh on
65) To see me dressed in saffron
65) With my hair that's only a half-on
65) And that's good enough for me.
66)
66) I will rise at early morning
66) When my Lord gives me the warning
66) That the Solar Age is dawning
66) And that's good enough for me.
67)
67) When old Quetzalcoatl
67) Found a virgin he could throttle
67) He put her heart in a bottle
67) And that's good enough for me.
68)
68) Azathoth is in his chaos
68) We know he's a really big boss
68) Now if only he don't slay us
68) Then that's good enough for me.
69)
69) Hari Krishna he must laugh on
69) To see me dressed in saffron
69) With my hair that's only half on
69) And that's good enough for me
70)
70) If you're really into dancing
70) And want to try some trancing
70) Then the voodoo gods are prancing
70) And that's good enough for me
71)
71) We will sacrifice to Yuggoth
71) Light a candle for Yog-Sothoth
71) If we're good we'll send a Shoggoth
71) And that's good enough for me.
72)
72) It was good enough for Loki
72) Where he goes, it sure get's smokey
72) He thinks Thor's a little hokey
72) And he's good enough for me
73)
73) Don't neglect that shrine of Zeus's
73) Though he's lost his vital juices
73) Still the old boy has his uses
73) And he's good enough for me.
74)
74) There's one thing I do know
74) Zeus's favorite is Juno
74) She's the best at, well, you know
74) And she's good enough for me.
75)
75) When we worship Bacchus
75) The ethanol will sock us
75) We'll all get good and raucous
75) And that's good enough for me.
76)
76) We will venerate old Bacchus
76) Drinking Beer and eating Tacos
76) 'Til you've tried it please don't knock us
76) 'Cause it's good enough for me.
77)
77) Let's all drink to Dionysus
77) His wine and women beyond prices
77) He made a Maenad out of my Sis
77) And that's good enough for me
78)
78) Let us dance with Dionysus
78) And get drunk on wine and spices
78) The Christains call them vices
78) But they're good enough for me
79)
79) It was good enough for Cupid
79) And the tricks to which he sto-oped
79) 'Thou his wings are kinda stupid
79) But he's good enough for me
80)
80) No one wrote a verse for Buddha
80) Though I think they really could'a
80) And I really think they should'a
80) 'Cause he's good enough for me
81)
81) There are some who practice Shinto
81) There's no telling what they're into
81) Though I guess we could begin to
81) But that's good enough for me
82)
82) Warriors for Allah
82) Are sure to have a gala
82) Time in old Valhalla
82) And that's good enough for me
83)
83) Any time that I start hearin'
83) ``Jesus loves you'' I start leerin'
83) May-be so, but not like Brian
83) And he's good enough for me
84)
84) And though J.C.'s into fish too
84) He's an avatar of Vishu
84) So he's welcome here to
84) And that's good enough for me
85)
85) And for those who follow Cthulhu
85) We've really got a lulu
85) Drop a bomb on Honolulu
85) 'Cause that's good enough for you
86)
86) We know it's good enough for Hastur
86) He's a mighty kinky master
86) When you pray he goes much faster
--- msgedsq 2.1
* Origin: Meatloaf in Hell (1:124/4115.221)
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