Date: Sat Oct 23 1993 11:29:00 To: All Subj: Ghostly Lawsuit #1 APn 10/23 0618 Ghostly Law

Date:   Sat Oct 23 1993  11:29:00
From:   Anson Kennedy
To:     All
Subj:   Ghostly Lawsuit #1

APn  10/23 0618  Ghostly Lawsuit

Copyright, 1993. The Associated Press. All rights reserved.

NEWPORT, Ky. (AP) -- A mystery man named J.R. Costigan says he was
punched by a ghost in his favorite haunt. But his lawsuit over the
ethereal attack appears to have vaporized.

Costigan sued Bobby Mackey's Music World in small claims court on Sept.
29, claiming a ghost punched and kicked him while he was in the restroom
of the country music bar in Wilder. He sought $1,000 in damages and
demanded that a sign be posted to warn of the ghost's presence.

Costigan claimed the dark-haired apparition appeared after he walked
around daring the ghost, a legend at the club, to show itself. The spook
fled after th attack.

The club's lawyer, Robert Lotz, took the case in good spirit. He filed a
motion in verse asking that the lawsuit be dismissed, pointing out that
it woul be hard to get the fight's only other witness into court:

   "But souls departed eschewing repose
   Prove difficult for us lawyers to depose
   And the sheriff will greet with crude demeanor
   My request to serve a spook's subpoena."

Lotz said Friday he also can't find Costigan, who offered only a post
office box number on the lawsuit. There is no telephone listing for him.

Costigan himself appears to have given up the ghost. He, too, filed a
motion to dismiss. A hearing on both is scheduled for Monday.

========================================================================

Date:   Sat Oct 23 1993  11:30:02
From:   Anson Kennedy
To:     All
Subj:   Ghostly Lawsuit #2

APn  10/23 0506  Ghostly Lawsuit-Text

Copyright, 1993. The Associated Press. All rights reserved.

By The Associated Press

The text of the motion asking that a lawsuit J.R. Costigan filed against
Bobby Mackey's Music World be dismissed:

   The Plaintiff claims in his Petition
   He was assaulted by an apparition;
   Injured by a ghostly nemesis
   On Bobby Mackey's premises.
   Where beered and brazen he did blunder
   By taunting their supernatural wonder,
   Proclaiming loudly his resistance
   To belief in spiritual existence.
   Alas this essence disembodied
   Followed the Plaintiff to de men's potty
   Where the dark haired haunt with neck in noose
   Soundly kicked complainant's drunk caboose.
   Though warned in advance of the club's possession
   He still sued the owner for this aggression.
   Providing A Current Affair with material
   For viewers enthralled by sightings ethereal.
   But souls departed eschewing repose
   Prove difficult for us lawyers to depose
   And the Sheriff will greet with crude demeanor
   My request to serve a spook's subpoena.
   So to counter Petitioner's claim phantasmal
   I turn to the law for relief substantial.
   The one year statute of limitations
   Applies to injuries by permutations!
   WHEREFORE:
   Dismiss my client from liability. For this phantom of the Opery.
   The Plaintiff can always pursue his tort
   Upon his death in a higher Court.