WHAT THE. . . ?
The News You Can't Do Without.
No. 1 12/93 e.v.
A WOULD-BE BURGLAR IN BRAZIL AND YOU THOUGHT HOTDOGS BAD?
was arrested in November when The Japanese have developed
he attempted to steal a quan- an experimental sausage made
tity of glue from the factory. from recycled Tokyo sewage.
Seems he accidentally knocked A company spokesperson was
over a couple of containers quoted as saying, "Sewage
while in there... police nab- does have a slight image
bed him some 36 hours later, problem. I don't think people
still stuck to the floor. will be content eating some-
thing they know has been ex-
creted by humans."
LORENA, LOOK OUT. . . In
April, a Filipino man who
exposed himself to a woman FROM 7 A.M. ON FEBRUARY 4TH
on a street in Dasmarinas, of this year, through 7 a.m.
Phillipines, was shot in the the following morning, no
penis by the irate viewer. murders, bank robberies, or
fatal arsons were reported
anywhere in New York City.
IT'S ILLEGAL TO SHOOT A
camel in Arizona, to put
pennies in your ears in A MAN IN CONNECTICUT MADE
Hawaii, or to drive more more than 30,000 obscene
than 2000 sheep down phone calls, according to
Hollywood Boulevard. Mean- police. He allegedly call-
while in Kentucky, the law ed women at random and
states that "No female told them to stand outside
shall appear in a bathing their homes naked. He was
suit on any highway ... successful about once every
unless she be armed with 100 times... somewhere,
a club." A later amend- there are 300 embarrassed
ment added that this law women!
doesn't apply to "females
weighing less than 90
pounds nor exceeding 200 A RECENT STUDY SHOWS THAT
pounds; nor shall it apply men who are married live
to female horses." Just longer than single men...
thought you'd want to know. if those single men cook
the way I do, it's no
A TURKISH SAILOR WHO JUMPED
ship in Australia asked to
sent home after only three WE CAN ALL SLEEP SAFER AT
days. Seems he was walking night, knowing that alert
down a road and saw a number officers are keeping dan-
of harmless fruit bats. The gerous criminals off the
seaman became convinced that streets. In the last few
the sky was full of vampire years, the following
bats out for his blood, and perpetrators were put be-
has asked to be flown back hind bars: a girl caught
to Turkey. picking tulips for her
Grandmother's grave; an-
other girl in the same
MAYBE THEY'RE BROTHERS? county who was late re-
A farmer in Turkey had to turning two videotapes;
be rushed to the hospital a 9-year-old girl who
after drinking insecti- was hauled away in hand-
cide because he had swal- cuffs for throwing pebbles
lowed a fly and was afraid at another child; and an
it would multiply inside 88-year-old woman who con-
him. fiscated a kickball that
landed in her garden.
Meanwhile, convicted drug
MEANWHILE, BACK DOWN UNDER, offenders in Portland,
two medics who were trans- Oregon, was choose to under-
porting a man by ambulance go acupuncture treatment
who had drunk insecticide instead of going to jail.
(must be something going
around?), had to be treat-
ed for inhalation of nox- WELL, THAT'S ALL FOR THIS
ious gasses because of the month. Netmail your con-
fumes coming from the man's tributions to this madness
body. to me at:
1:109/235.0 or 31:1000/3
[Er, I don't believe it. --drice]