New Member Initiation Ritual The new initiate is led into a dimly-lit room, tastefully dec

                 New Member Initiation Ritual

     The new initiate is led into a dimly-lit room,
tastefully decorated in nouveau-Erisian style.  Current
members of VICAR are dressed in the latest styles and the
initiate is wearing Ralph Lauren shirts and anything else
considered "G.Q."
     Incense is burning in five different places, preferably
five different kinds of incense.  An altar is set up in the
north end of the room with the symbols of VICAR:  a five
fingered hand of Eris, the Sacred Chao and a water bong.
     The leader of the ceremony (abbrievated 'L') and the
Initiate ('I') now begin their dialogue:

L: O person! Do ye wish now to make a commitment to Discord?

I: (answers in the affirmative)

L: Are ye sure that ye are not a cabbage or something?

I: (answers in the affirmative)

L: That's a shame.  Do ye wish to better thyself?

I: (answers in the affirmative)

L: How stupid.  Will ye make a commitment to Eris?

I: Possibly.

L: Now, ye must recite the oath.

I: I, (name) do hereby pledge my allegiance to the goddess
   Eris and to her works.  I furthermore pledge to assist the
   Vibrant Intensity Conspiracy and Religion in their plans
   for Operation Mindfuck in whatever method I can.  Hail
   Eris!  Kallisti!  All Hail Discordja!  Fuck you.

L: Fuck you.

The ritual weed is then brought out and all assembled proceed